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Who is Linda? Is She Real?
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Who is Linda? Is She Real?

Several people have asked me if Linda is a real person. The answer is "yes and no!"

When I first started this site back in 1996, my good friend Jay Rector had a lot of suggestions for me. He's a very successful IT salesman, and I often take his advice. He said that most successful sites have a little story going on that people can keep coming back to and read. He said that these stories should be humorous as well as informative.

I've seen a lot of things in my 30+ years in business fixing cars. I don't expect my customers to know a lot about cars, although I am always happy to try to teach them if they want to learn. Nevertheless, ignorance can lead to some funny stories, and I've seen some really good ones in my time. Whenever I experience a really good one, I'll write a "Linda Tale" about it.

Some of them involve some of my "pet peeves": like the people who lure you in with a cheap price and then charge you a fortune. This inspired my 2 "brake" articles. I still tell people I can do their brakes for $80 to $100, and I end up doing a fair number of them for that price. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've been called a ripoff for this price!!! Whenever someone says that, I tell them that if they can bring me a bill where they haver actually gotten their brakes done for less than that, bring it to me AND I'LL PAY THE BILL!!!

I have yet to have anyone come back and take me up on that.

Another pet peeve of mine is the "boyfriend" who comes along to tell his girlfriend how to get her car fixed. Don't get me wrong: a lot of times that isn't a problem. It only becomes a problem when the "boyfriend" only THINKS he knows what he's doing with a car. I then have to tread a fine line: I can't tell him he doesn't know what he's talking about. I have to "make him seem right", while still giving sound automotive advice. This is especially touchy when the boyfriend has already decided what the car needs, BUT HE'S WRONG! More than once I've lost a job because the boyfriend saw an advertised price cheaper than mine, or he thought he could do it himself after I spent an hour or so diagnosing the problem for free. The fact that this situation usually results in disaster still doen't mean I make any money off it. The "bait and switch" repair shop makes the fortune off their deceptive ad.

I have no problem with people who are well-versed in auto knowledge. I really prefer that kind of customer! I'd rather they understood what is going on. A close second is the customer like a doctor friend of mine: he just brings his car in, tells me what his complaint is, and gets me to fix it.
Once when I was trying to explain how something worked, he cut me off, saying " Hey, I trust you! I spent 10 years in school to learn how to do what I do, but I can't give every patient I see a basic biology lesson! My patients trust me because I'm a good doctor. I trust you because you're a good mechanic. "


THERE'S A LITTLE LINDA IN ALL OF US!!!

If you've never done something a bit silly in a car, you probably haven't been driving very long. In reading these stories you might think you recognize yourself! This may be true if you're one of my friends or customers. But don't worry: I NEVER reveal my sources, and I ALWAYS change the details a bit. Just read these stories and learn! Try not to inspire a "Linda Story!"


RULES FOR A LINDA STORY

I have several "rules" I use for my "Linda Stories":

1) Her cars are always used and bought or aquired recently

2) They are always painted yellow

3) They rarely get fixed in my shop: a "boyfriend" usually takes charge and does something different than what I recommend

4) The boyfriend is usually named either "Beau (Bo, Beaux)" or "Bubba"

5) All incidents are based on real events that happen at my shop



Auto, Car, and Truck Article List

A
ABS: Anti-Lock Brake Systems
ADVANCE: Car ignition timing
ALTERNATORS and Car Battery
AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSIONS
B
BAD CAR DESIGNS
Bad Drivers: How NOT to drive
BATTERIES: Auto, Car or Truck
BELTS AND HOSES
BEARINGS
BODY AND BUMPER REPAIRS
BRAKE REPAIRS: Car or Truck
C
Car Washing and Care
CARBURETORS:Car & Truck
CHECK ENGINE LIGHT
CLEANING: Engine Cleaning
CLUTCH REPAIRS: Car & Truck
COMPRESSION: Car Engine
COMPUTER CAR CONTROLS
CV JOINT OR CV AXLES
D
DISTRIBUTORS (IGNITION)
E
ELECTRIC WIRING REPAIR
ENGINES: Car & Truck
ENGINE CLEANING
EXPANSION PLUGS
F
FILTERS: OIL, AIR, ETC.
FREEZE PLUGS
FUEL AIR MIXTURE
FUEL INJECTION: Car & Truck
FUEL PUMPS: Car & Truck
G
GAGES AND "IDIOT LIGHTS"
GASKETS AND SEALS
GLASS: WINDOWS AND WINDSHIELDS
H
HEADS & HEAD GASKET
HOSES AND BELTS
I
"IDIOT LIGHTS" AND GAGES
IGNITION TIMING: Car & Truck
J
AUTO JACKS: lifting cars safely
K
L
LEAN "Car runs lean"
LIGHTS: WARNING OR "IDIOT LIGHTS"
Limp Home Mode
M
MIL Light
MANUAL TRANSMISSIONS
N
NO START: Car Won't Start
O
OIL CHANGES
OIL: What's right for your car?
OIL LIGHT ON OR GAGE LOW
P
PCV Valve
Q
R
RADIATORS: Car and Truck
RICH: Car runs rich
S
SEALS AND GASKETS
SERVICE ENGINE SOON LIGHT
SPARK PLUGS
STARTERS: Auto, Truck
T
THERMOSTATS
TIMING: IGNITION TIMING
TIMING BELT & TIMING CHAIN
TIRE REPAIR
TRANSMISSIONS: AUTOMATIC
TRANSMISSIONS: MANUAL
U
V
VACUUM ADVANCE
WARNING LIGHTS OR "IDIOT LIGHTS"
Car Washing and Care
W
WATER PUMP REPAIR
WINDOWS AND WINDSHIELDS
WIRING REPAIR
X
Y
Z

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